Fuck this writer's guild strike.

Thanks for putting Hollywood on hold while you try to make more money that you don't deserve.

Not an attack against writers...no one in the filmmaking business should be making as much money as they are (guild wise, anyway).

We could feed small countries with half the salaries that people get.

Film/TV simply shouldn't cost as much to make as it does. Most of it's due to fucking compensation for unimportant work, anyway.

Again--that unimportant isn't towards writing.

The filmmaking business is a rip off.


...now give me my BFA.

So yeah...Claire & Charles are life savers of life savers that save lives and fucking rock.

Thank you thank you thank you!

--

Moved out of the old place and into the new one.

Last night was silly. My housemates threw the Halloween party but,me & Schmuck left before it got going after a pathetic game of 9 ball. We had a very nice date :-) Put me in a great mood all day. Can't get over what a good guy he is. I can see where there might be issues down the road but, something tells me we could just talk about it. Honesty is all I asked for and it's all I'm getting. Lovely.

When he dropped me off, the party had broken up a bit due to the cops droppin' by because the townie fucking band that decided to set up was a little loud plus, someone trashed Tom's room and he got pissed and starting threatening people with a samurai sword.

Anyway, I walk into a house full of drunk as hell people who thought they were driving home so I proceeded to take keys and drive a few car fulls around town. The last run I got blocked in by a car that said they had a DD. The car died and when we were jumping it the owner of the car wouldn't let me help and almost killed himself like 5 times then got in the fucking car and backed right into my other housemate, Trevor's, car. I shouldn't have let him drive :-(

When I get back at 4, Tom and Dan are SCREAMING at each other over some shit and when that's done we sat around the kitchen for a few minutes, then Tom and I had a pretty intense heart-to-heart until like 6 in the morning. I haven't really opened up to anybody directly about how depressed I've been this term. Shit's gotten pretty bad and a couple nights, I don't know how I made it through, to be honest. He and I aren't the best of buds and I was scared that we'd kill each other when I moved in but, somehow he made me feel like he actually wanted to hear it. Gave me some really good advice too. I actually feel like I might be able to get over this and get back on track with school.

Yeah. So, parties are by invitation only from now on. I told them, though, that whenever Charlotte and Raleigh folks came they could do whatever and stay as long as they want because you're all respectful, good people and wouldn't turn shit stupid.

--

The movie built a guest room in the attic so we got that going now! I think we should rent it out and make rent even fucking cheaper. Anyone wanna move in and have their own floor?

--

Gaffing this weekend :-) Just saw the set for the only real lighting that I'll be doing. It's pretty fucking gross looking. Which is what Mr. Frink wants, sooooo....it is. HA.

I get to use a space light for the first time. Those things are hard to shape and the curve on one of the walls may disappear if I lose too much direction. We'll see. I wanna try giving it a little something on top of the space...like a warmer colored fresnel with a little softness of it's own? Give it some depth and texture.

It's painting with light after all.

Had a meeting with the Mrs. tonight and I could tell by her lighting diagram what stop she wanted to shoot at! Felt like I know what I'm doing.

--

I was watching a movie tonight in Black Cinema and this blind dude says...

"Son, I've been blind for thirty years..."

And I proceeded to laugh hysterically but, no one else got it.

How can I be in the right school with the wrong crowd?

It's a bummer you all aren't filmmakers.

4 out of the last 10 of my posts have been friends only.

and 7 out of my friends last 10 posts have been friends only.

what are we hiding from?

--

Moving tomorrow! Didn't know that until today. Gonna be sweet to be in a new place & still have 12 days to migrate between homes to clean/tie up loose ends, etc.

--

Saw the cut of the movie I gaffed in Charlotte a few weeks ago and...damn. That shit turned out so fucking sweet. Everything the DP asked for was there despite all the hub-bub it went through it post. I was terrified that I didn't get as harsh/contrasted with things and the transfer to black and white would look fucking washed out or some shit. But....it looks sleek and gritty (yeah...I put 'em together but, anyone who knows black & white cinema knows how wonderful those two styles work together) and it's going on the reel, for sure.

--

Also, built a light this week! Something to be proud of, for sure.

--

Feeling sickly and it's definitely affecting my mood a bit. Either that or my mood sucks and my health sucks.

--

This evening was revealing, I suppose. Nice, intriguing...revealing.

--

Speaking of work-folks. One of my co-workers got that mercer staff infection thing :-/ Sucks so much for him. He's had to take a shit-ton of time off of work & def. can't afford it PLUS he has to get rid of everything in his apartment so he doesn't get it again :-( 'Tis fucking lame.

Now folks at work are getting paranoid that it's just floating in the air and we're all gonna turn into zombies. Granted, it's running a lil' rampant here in Winston but, shit's hard to get.

We'll see.

--

One week from tomorrow I will be gaffing for film for the FIRST TIME in like 8 months! So effin' psyched. Despite the fact that I'm essentially doing the "ugly" stuff. What they don't understand is that that's not within my capabilities as a gaffer. Stylizied, yes. Ugly, no. Even if we just call ugly stylelized (how the fuck do you spell that shit...it's way to 4 in the morning for this shit) I'll be happy.

--

Aannnnnd break.

Peace. Be kind, rewind. Keep it tv safe (in the words of Mr. Matt Cabinum).

so tired

so very tired

i'm tired

and tired

and sleep likes me

and i love sleep

but it's not equally requited because

sleep just likes me

48 hours without it

sleep needs me

it just doesn't know it yet

date!

so excited i could.....

pee out of a tree!

i've put some of my best flirting into this, dammit.

here's hoping it doesn't end with either of us changing our bank accounts or calling the cops!

I'm moving into Hawthorne.


For you Charlotte folks that haven't been there....it's my film school's answer to a frat house.

2 man slingshot from the second floor balcony.


Rock on.


Too bad I just started my sober streak and there's a steady supply of all things unsober there.

The other night's drunken post may have stated some of this but, I've got a lotta shit I'm starting to get pumped about.

-Thesis project
-2 independent gaffing credits to add onto the one I've got. One's a commercial and shit!
-Gradu-fucking-ation.
-Getting sober!
-Cute guy that's going to be a great influence on me getting sober.
sub-note on him: he's also probably one of the most respectful folks I've met recently. I'm definitely getting the likin' me vibe. he gave me his number last week :-)
-Thinkin' the psycho ex is done fucking around.
-Finally settled on where I'm gonna go get my masters. Colorado, bitches. Now I gotta decide between the Denver school and the Boulder school.
-Think my dad has started understanding that I just can't pay for everything myself anymore.
-Soon to be moving!
-FUCKING AWESOME PARTY/COOKOUT THIS SATURDAY MOTHER FUCKERS!

Yay.

They let us off set for a couple hours cause we gotta wait for the light to get right...since I'm gaffing, I should probably be there waiting for the light too but, I'm getting the impression that they don't really need me.

Day/exterior = no fun for Jessie.

Also, who puts a very dark black person in a white shirt and puts them outside on the sunniest fucking day of days?? The person that's going to make the rest of my day helllllll...that's who.

blahblah...i'm done!

fuck.

Ha.

no, but for serious...i couldn't be more excited about these next 5-7 years.

things have been slowly but surely coming into perspective.

starting to figure out what i want from the future, what i'll be getting from the past, and what all this adds up to in the long run.

probably not what i always have thought it would be but, am i gonna be happy? aka am i gonna be proud of what i've done and who i am? fuck-motherfucking-yes.

give it time.


give it time.


give it time.


ps-i'm legal bitches!

holy fucking shit last night was awesome.

Seriously. I don't know the last time I laughed for such an extended amount of time.

Went by David of thy Walker's place and all the boys were there!!!! At a time where I really need to know that there are good guys out there, I had five of about the best of 'em around me.

Also, my boss got me the sweetest present today.

Also....21 in 4 days, bitches.


I haven't slept for more than 6 hours in the past few days (that's total) and I'm about fucking wiped.

So, now I'm gonna grab some grub and head over to an undisclosed (indisclosed?...huh?) meeting place bout this independent lil' thing I'm doing in Charlotte Oct. 6/7.

Anyone wanna help? No experience necessary.

What a night. What a day.

I am too surprised over how excited I am about this.

& that's probably why it's happening.